Election Progress Report, 5/3/11

AS OF MARCH 5th I, DESTRUCTOR HAVE:

• INCINERATED 54% OF SOUTH AMERICA
• DISPATCHED DEATH-WALKERS THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE PLANET
• CONSUMED 32% OF THE PLANET'S CADMIUM
• CLAIMED 79,000,000 SOULS
• SPREAD MY SEED THROUGHOUT EUROPE'S SOUTH-WEST
• OPENED 12 TEMPORAL RIFTS INTO THE NETHER-REALM
• ADOPTED A POSITION AS FIGUREHEAD OF CHRISTIANITY
• RENAMED CHRISTIANITY TO DESTRUCTIANITY

UNTIL NEXT TIME, DESTRUCTOR

Destructor's Mailbag

PUNY MORTALS, WASTING YOUR INSIGNIFICANT LIVES BY SENDING MAIL TO MY DOMAIN.
I WILL BE ANSWERING YOUR MAIL AS A MEANS OF RETRIBUTION FOR THE COUNTLESS SOULS I WILL BE CLAIMING THIS MONTH

I've been wondering, how is destructor pronounced?

"DEE-Z-STRUCT-OU-OR"

I understand that one of your electoral promises is to control the illegal immigrant problem, how exactly do you plan to do this?

MANDATORY TORTURE FOR ALL FOUND WITHIN 15 NUPHORS OF US BORDER

What are your policies regarding internet trolls?

I INTEND TO INCREASE THEM IN NUMBER, OCCURRENCE AND AGGRESSION

What happened to "Currently listening to" and "mood" in your posts, I used to look forward to them?

AS I HAVE MATURED INTO MY FINAL STAGE OF LIFE I HAVE DISCARDED THE NEED FOR BOTH RHYTHM AND EMOTION, THIS HAS BEEN REPLACED WITH A CRAVING FOR MOLTEN CADMIUM

What is your position on abortion?

ABORTIONS FOR ALL

What car do you drive?

A CHARIOT CONSTRUCTED OF THE BONES OF MY ENEMIES, PROPELLED BY DESPAIR AND ETHANOL

THANK YOU FOR OCCUPYING YOUR TIME IN WRITING TO ME, IT HAS MADE THE GRADUAL CONSUMPTION OF YOUR "EARTH" MORE HASSLE FREE

RULER OF EARTH? A LIKELY SITUATION

I KNOW YOU ARE WONDERING WHY I HAVE NOT POSTED RECENTLY, IT IS DUE TO A BACKLOG OF SOULS FOR TORMENT.
NOW THAT I HAVE CORRECTED THIS AND INSTILLED A PRIMITIVE FEAR OF LIFE WITHOUT TORTURE IN THE CONSCIENCE OF EVERY MAN BORN UNDER A FULL MOON. I EXPECT A SIMILAR SITUATION SHALL NOT ARISE AGAIN.

RETURNING TO MY ORIGINAL COGITATIONS

AFTER MEETING WITH AND OVERPOWERING EARTH RULER OH-BAH-MAH I HAVE CHOSEN TO RUN FOR EARTH PRESIDENCY TO GAIN A TIGHTER VICE ON YOUR ALREADY HEAVILY OPPRESSED UNIVERSE. TO INITIATE MY CAMPAIGN I WILL BE UNLEASHING SOULS OF THE DAMNED INTO LIBERAL HOUSEHOLDS AND INSTITUTING A DEVOUR ON SIGHT ORDER TO MY PATROLLING DEATH-WALKERS.

SEE YOU ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL

Destructor on Oprah?

Tune in tomorrow afternoon at 3 to catch Destructor's debut on the Oprah Winfrey show, watch the hijinks as the all powerful master of unearthly realms meets US president Barack Obama to discuss political policy and the high price of dark matter.
Catch other great moments like this, tommorow at 3 on CBS

I AM DESTRUCTOR, LORD OF THE UNDERWORLD

Listening To: I Get Around - The Beach Boys
Mood: Ditzy

GREETINGS PUNY MORTALS.

I AM DESTRUCTOR, SON OF QUELTHALAR AND LORD OF THE UNDERWORLD, I LOOK FORWARD TO CONQUERING THE DOMAIN OF BLOGSPOT AND TRANSMUTING THIS WORLD INTO A NINTH PLAIN OF TORMENT

ALL GLORY TO THE VENGEFUL DESTRUCTOR